The Dance of Feminine and Masculine
- Love and Relationship

Dance of the Masculine and Feminine


The Dance of Feminine and MasculineTwo voices come up from the depths and begin a dance I am sure they are dancing even when noise fills the mind and we cannot hear their graceful footsteps.

One voice is masculine, one is feminine…but the distinction is an effort to make for their communion is so intertwined and we must listen closely to find which is which…and to realize that not just their voice, but their language, words, and expression also are distinct if you stop long enough to really listen.

“Meet me at the shores of some forgotten ocean,” I can hear the Masculine whisper, “and I shall wash your feet and bathe away your sorrows.”

“If I shed my tears, they shall mix within your waters,” the Feminine responds, “and I do not want to disturb your peace.”

“These waters and your tears have come from the same place, the same source.  Shed  your tears, and let your story be the waves that come and go,” he says, “beneath those waves my peace and yours remains.”

How often have we acted from our masculine, when it was the feminine that needed to be nurtured; and how often do we surrender in our feminine when the masculine is being called to act?

I look around and I see many women seeking power through their masculine aspects, when their true feminine power lies in surrender, in the strength to trust and open.

And I see men using their logic and thinking to manipulate women into paying them attention, validation, and loyalty.  The desire to be seen and heard is their feminine side asking to be held, yet they too bring their masculine structure to answer what the feminine can best handle.


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A man’s true masculine power lies in his ability of devotion; to support, lift, and give trusted space to the feminine’s expression, while standing in his own center.

“Do you trust that I do not need you to fulfill me, but that I cherish the fulfillment holding you gives me,” the Masculine asks of the Feminine.

“In moments of safety, when I feel the tension of your Being pulling, not away from me, but rather pulling to hold me as I lean back in surrender, I can see the truth of your cherished fulfillment,” she says, “but when you try to prove your worth by showing your strength or worldly knowledge, I lose faith for you are too busy proving yourself to me instead of  listening to my needs.

“Yet, even when I hear your words, you still challenge me,” laments the Masculine.

“I will always test you…but it is not your worth that I am testing..it is your stability. Can you hear me, lift me, and still remain solid where you stand?” she responds.

Our masculine side must learn to listen, and our feminine side must learn to ask.

For the feminine, it is not an asking by means of petition, but rather it is by means of invitation.  Express what needs and wants you have as feminine and the masculine will hear you.  Express only those things not wanted, such as in complaint, and the masculine does not know where to support.  He wants to serve, his devotion compels him, but if his only clues are what is wrong or not wanted, he will not know in which way to serve you.

The masculine must wait, stay patient in his solid stance, and give the feminine time to find the words and safety to express what she actually wants.

In his devotion, the masculine does not seek to change, control, or possess.  For his worship is not of a trophy or conquest, but rather his worship is a recognizing, beholding, and appreciating of the feminine before him that gives him his greatest purpose – to support and serve.

He must stop with his agendas and drop into service and appreciation, and the feminine must give him space to be trusted in doing so.

“If you want me to trust you, than lead me by your example, not by your stories and supplication.  Show me, move me, know me – and I will invite you into my home,” the Feminine says.

“I am but the piano keys here to strike the strings that sing your song,” says the Masculine, “there will be times that I lose the harmony and I ask that you trust I am still listening.  I ask that you not fill in the missing notes where I have fallen absent, for if I do not hear the gap, I will not know where to jump back in.”

When the feminine does not invite or create space for the masculine to compliment her Being, then he is left without purpose, and the masculine without purpose will seek another purpose or otherwise become frustrated.

He wants to provide for his partner, yet the feminine has deemed she is capable of providing for herself.  So, where does that leave him?  He begins to wish for her to give up her things, her control, her power, so he can feel of purpose again.

Can the masculine instead of asking her to empty her cup, make his cup large enough to encompass hers?  Like this, might she feel held and accepted in her own stability…and be nourished by the strength of his embrace that recognizes her.

When the feminine denies the offering of the masculine to hold space for her…she is telling him that she does not trust him, and this is the worst insult the feminine can make.  She is also teaching him to be untrustworthy – for if all he hears from her is that she does not trust him…he will eventually believe that is what she desires and will fulfill his service as such.

The feminine is changing her mind, opinion, emotions, action and attitude all the time…but she will remember and hold the masculine to his.  Thus the masculine must not seek to abide to her every wish and desire, or to bend her to his own…it will not work.  Rather, he must expand the presence of his masculine self, hold the space that allows the feminine to express in all her varied ways, and not fixate on her words as they change with every emotion, but rather listen to her body and her energy for guidance.

The dance of the masculine and feminine is about knowing the character of each…and that they do not need each other as dependents, but rather can unite in balance to lift each other in a brilliant expression of movement and dance.  They can see the divine perfection of one another and in that recognition of beauty have no choice but to overflow with the worship of each other.

“Let us dance, I will lead, I will follow, we shall make music with our footsteps.”

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Your turn, share your thoughts and comments below.


15 thoughts on “Dance of the Masculine and Feminine

  1. I am sending you love from India….I hear your silence is proliferating into poetry….

    We all have such a unique mix of the active and the receptive, that there is truly a huge dance of infinite possibilities that arises….which is satisfied when we unify the two into one.

  2. Beautiful! Infinite.. I like : "…and that they do not “need” each other as dependents, but rather can unite in balance to lift each other in a brilliant expression of movement and dance.

  3. This dance occurs inside and outside as a reflection of the interior – this is where you see your inner self – by what manifests outside. We are coming into one integrated being, that being acts from the heart, all that is created from this place has beauty and harmony. Listen to the feminine, the root of creative essence and bring this into life. This dance also includes more than the Masculine and Feminine, it is all aspect united. Jelila in Ubud has uncovered a model of potential integration called The Gift of Harmony. It's a great model for understanding our inner world and so creating the outer world we love to be in.

  4. Some very resonant words of wisdom! Did you and Matt meet for the first time at the Osho Leela Tantra festival in 2011, which I went to, I have a feeling that you did! Very inspired to see the blossoming tantra work that you are both now doing together! x

  5. Great post, loved the picture and yes we need as we stand in our feminine to ask for our needs to met….

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