In this world of activity, saturated sensations, and ever-growing babble of shouting voices, we may feel that silence would be a sure fire way of losing what little attention we’ve attained in our relationships, business, and expression.
It seems as more voices join the milieu, so then the existing voices must become louder, otherwise the screaming crowds around may drown them out.
So it doesn’t surprise me when people are shocked to hear that I spent an entire year in silence, stowing away my loudspeaker and choosing instead to go within and find expression without words.
Mostly spent in Bali, amongst the rice paddies, Ubud yogis, and support of an amazing community, I dove deep into a world of no words and I discovered a few little secrets that tend to go overlooked in the battle to be heard.
* The first secret is that whether you whisper or yell, your message is only as powerful as the space from which you share it. It must be rooted and originating from a place deep within you to find resonance in the hearts of others. All other speech is simply chatter of the mind, and will only find more chatter – this is why the crowds keep getting louder.
* The second secret is that silence is not a sacrifice of your voice; it is instead the first time you allow yourself to be heard without distortion. Our words only have meaning by how each of us defines them, and few of us take the time to first agree upon those definitions. In silence, communication becomes a resonance of the heart and intention. The resonance itself is simply felt, and does not require an interpretation of language. It does, however, require the presence of both people in communication.
* The third secret is my favorite because it reminds us of our connection. In my silence I often heard people say they could never be silent for so long. They would comment on the impossibility of personally being quiet for even a few hours. Yet, just like the ocean that may seem turbulent on the surface, at its depths is a calm enduring peace. So, even in the daily chaos of verbal and mental monologues, a deep quiet exists as the foundation from which it all emerges for all of us.
Silence is the blank canvas on to which we place our painted words. It is the cloudless night sky that gives visibility to bright lights shining through. Beneath all our stories, chatter, and distractions is silence setting a space of potential. It is the space into which connection finds it’s way.
I went silent for a year because the connections in my life had become mine fields of projected fear, rejection, and loss. My heart had begun to scream so loudly trying to hold a connection that was slowly dissolving, that my shouts drowned the very message of love I was trying to share.
In the early days, when our hearts were quiet and resonating as one, we had attracted the spirit of a new life, a baby to bless us. It was a surprise, and while it filled our hearts with new song, it also filled our minds with new voices. They were the voices of doubt, of self-worth, of financial security. They were the voices of friends, of family, and of concerns and praises. They were the voices of celebration and simultaneously life-changing considerations. And with all the voices seeking their time upon the stage, the subtle whispering resonance from our hearts was no longer felt.
We lost our child within that ocean of voices, for that new life was a creation of our hearts gentle dialogue. Three months into the pregnancy, the baby miscarried, and that spirit decided not to enter our lives.
And in that tragedy, only more voices came. They were anger, frustration, and blame. They were sorrow and grief and shame and many more. They became so many voices, that none was really being heard, but instead each voice laid itself like a brick into the wall that now stood in between my partner and I.
Eventually, the partnership was also lost. And I, alone now with all these voices, had but one place into which I could retreat. It was into silence.
I will admit, to some extent it was an escape from the pains and a way to ignore the stories of heartache.
It was also a conscious choice to seek the voice within me whose song had never stopped and would never be lost.
The resonance of the Heart is a river of connection that never stops flowing. It is the oceans depths, the blank canvas and the night sky wrapped up and simplified into a word, I call it Love.
Love is as intangible a force as the wind, known only by its effects. It is invisible, yet like a tornado can run through your life in a whirlwind of power, shifting your reality, and pulling you into flight whether you realize you can fly or not.
And even though the voice of that love may come in many different forms, expressions, and levels of loudness…it remains the ever-present bond of creation, connection, and communication. It is a language without words. It is a language of the heart.
To spend time in silence is not an activity. It is the surrender of activity.
It is the surrender of opinions and thoughts, of identities and roles, positions and postures; so that you may sink deep into the profound waters of your heart, and know the power of your voice is not in the words you speak, but rather from where you speak them.
During my year in silence, I learned that to love, to truly love, is more than what can be given as expression, is more than the synced vibration of two hearts, and is beyond the minds capacity to place form upon the formless.
Love, is an ever present knocking upon the door of the infinite self, and to truly embrace its fullness, ironically, requires an act of letting go. It is the action of surrender to the vulnerable and curious exploration into an unknown discovery waiting around the corner – this creates the space for love to be felt, received and shared.
So, do not be afraid of drowning unheard into the crowds of loud expression. Instead, let the power of your surrender be the catalyst creating space for your voice to be felt, rather than simply heard.
In Silence, all voices become One…the voice of Love.