I hear women gossip or complain all the time about men who want nothing but sex. There is a disgust and distaste in their voice as they share with their girlfriends, or to guys who will listen, how there are too many boys and not enough men. They speak of wanting men who will dance them through a romance, take them out, write them poetry… but heaven forbid they ever want sex.
Well, I call BULLSHIT.
I’ve lived the better part of my life being the stereotypical “nice” guy. The perfect description of what women say they want, but in the end I’ve watched more women be detoured away because the kind of guy they all complained about came along, swept them off their feet with a few well-placed words of flattery, a promise to take care of them, and some seductive hip thrusts, and I was left wondering…
What the Fu$&* !!!
I’d sit wondering, pondering, totally confused by this apparent mixed messaging of what women said they wanted, but what they time and time again would actually be attracted to.
And then it hit me!
A realization that when it comes to carnal pleasures, self-satisfaction, ecstasy of our physicality- men and women are not much different. Heck, it does take TWO for some things to happen.
So, why then were women complaining, shaming, and down grading the men who in the end showed up wanting the same thing as them?
CLARITY.
What if women actually just want a man to be clear about what he wants?
What if the transparency of a man who can confidently claim, “I want to RAVISH you till the sun sets and a new day dawns,” is actually the turn on that lured women away from nice guys like me, who were “safe”?
Oh, but wait. Was I safe?
No, not at all. My words and gestures, my poetic offerings, gentle nature, safe guy facade was all hiding a deep carnal wish to let loose the dragon of my desire. And what exactly was that desire?
Sex? You would think, and this is where we all miss the show, no not sex but intimacy.
And the most powerful words we want to hear, whether as a female or a male is – “I want YOU”
To know we possess some allure, attractive force that ignites the hormones of another.
Why else would we sit down, take time, converse, and play games – if not for the base satisfaction of some connection, even if just a moment of eyes connecting and revealing some deep secret from within.
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We want to connect and we want to know the other wants to connect too, but if neither is CLAIMING their desire than we spend countless hours guessing, wondering, and manipulating conversation not for some agenda of what might get to happen down the line, but more for the simple quest to get clear communication of intent!
So, I say to the Masculine in myself and all my brothers – speak your TRUTH!
Without sugar coating, round-abouting, or vagueness. Empower the feminine by stating clearly your Desire, because by doing so – you give her choice to say YES or NO.
Everything else is a limbo state of no answers, no actions, just wondering what the damn question is.
I’ll admit, I have lived most of my life in denial of what deep inside was subtly leaning me blindly along the edges of my desire.
A dragon within me, begins to wake now, and it wants to be unleashed and given voice with which to RAVISH the feminine, consume her in a passionate fire and force, not of conquest but of ecstatic SENSUAL exploration of she and self.
Oh, I have hidden, repressed, these unspoken desires to test, dip the tip, into the sacred waters of her erotic bliss. To lead with carnal passion, ignite her deepest emotion, and ride the wave of that sensation as it swells, crests, and cascades down upon the shore.
And I hear your voice within me that once shamed, blamed and cut me down for passively seeking to express a truth that plays itself through all humanity. And I feel your feminine strength in radiance, knowing my truth, knowing yours, and feeling safe to choose that which honors you and me.
The voice of Masculine, who had become vague, unclear, and afraid to claim his desires because for so long it had been rejected, denied, and mistrusted – I now make Transparent, and in that transparency I play no upgrade game, have no agendas and no attachment, but speak so honestly and authentically the presence of this moments wants and recognitions so to allow the possibility of deep connection.
The chains that held me trapped in a cave built judging my own LifeForce – which I misunderstood – now break that I may boldly express the desires I feel electric in their waves; sparking this deep wanting to connect, caress, and cause CLIMAX in co-creation with YOU the feminine.
So here, as Masculine, against all self-judgmental shame that has been the prison guard of my deepest truths, I now proclaim…
YES, I will honor you, YES I will embrace you, and YES I will PENETRATE deeply into you with conscious, vulnerable sharing of myself, my power, and my Lifeforce…
Because I am human, I am man… And, FUCK, spiritual or not, I have intimate desires to express!